A Virtuous Woman

Reflections on the life of Lillian (1916-2008)
From her children: Kathy, Hank and Ruth

And now, faith, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. (I Corinthians 13:13)

The Cardinal Virtues – Prudence, Justice, Temperance and Courage – and the Theological Virtues – Faith, Hope and Love – are a rigorous means for assessing a life lived. Mother can stand this test. Whether you knew her as teacher, friend, guide – or for we three lucky ones, Mother – hers was an example to reckon with.

She blazed a trail in the church and in her community, taking unpopular views that were right. Lawrence Bottoms was a frequent overnight guest in our home in the segregated 1950s. They call this Courage.

She had no sympathy for people taking unnecessary risks and didn’t want to hear about Hank’s skydiving or too much about Kathy’s mountain hikes. She knew calamities – the loss of her father at age 3, the Depression – and always sought stability and acted carefully. She was Prudent.

She sought Justice. She took on Mrs. Edmundson in the neighborhood and championed Ruth’s right to miss school for the Beatles’ first U.S. concert tour. Strong discipline was mixed with love. Right and Wrong were real things.

She was private. She understood the sensitive position of being the minister’s wife. She did not suffer fools, but was unfailingly polite. She was the person we went to for advice. She believed in Temperance and self-control.

She rose far above circumstances that conspired to deny her bright intellect a higher education. She determined to get that for herself at PSCE. Her mind knew no boundaries, whether reading on the couch or traveling throughout Europe. Daddy wondered at the stars. She contemplated the sea.

People who knew her called us last week to thank us for her Faith. Rigorous inquiry was an essential part of hers. And so was Hope – for the ultimate good in people, for Life, for History.

But the greatest of these is Love. Measured out every day, without stinting, in strawberry shortcakes, hugs, hand-sewn prom dresses, understanding, laughter, crocheted caps for our babies, wisdom, forbearance, dinner on the table, a look, a smile and the softest hands on Earth.